Friday, 27 January 2012

Rocking my World (might be more rocky world this week.....)

Hello Lovely positive Friday people time once more for:


Hosted by the ever positive Virginia over at the Celtic House :)

This has been a week that should be happy and was full of so many positives but add in a poorly toddler (which is why I am typing this at 5am in the morning) and just the weight of everything that has been dealt with (and the fact I'm not at full fighting fitness meself) and the celebrations are not what they should be.

So at the beginning of last week (or the weekend as it is generally thought of by the many) we celebrated for the third year Chinese New Year (a day or 2 early) with friends of ours and other friends. We have a number of traditions that are slowly arising around our circle and this is the 1st one of the year. We all take around a Chinese dish or two and feast like kings my friend. My lovely husband (who is 1/2 Chinese from his Hong Kong Dad) made a Chinese curry - yum yum and experimental prawn toasts - because under my expert supervision we baked rather than fried them to reduce some lard content - and my friends not a one of the 50 odd triangles was left at the end! My contribution was a baked (unusual as they are usually steamed) cake - it was so so light and very yummy definitely to be made again :) 

Now the next part I alluded to last week, first I shall explain a little bit because Carmen aside you won't know the background and appreciate the true momentousness of it all. So are you sitting comfortably.......... In 2005 (the year we got married) my husband and I purchased out first home together. What followed on and off was bullying, harrasment, threats and other things from the person who lived below us, a man who was unemployed, likes his alcohol, probably also played with drugs and decided to make my family his full time entertainment. We stayed so long, because we naively assumed that with right and good on our side we should be able to sort out this social tenant and stop it happening to someone else (we are sure that he was the reason the previous owner left) . But it turns out no. In 2010 things escalated somewhat and someone glued our door lock, a week later our car was keyed down one side from light to light. Then it want quiet for a few months before a full bottle of beer was thrown through our first floor flat kitchen window (still grateful it wasn't the other side which was T bedroom) we were out at the time and had friends babysitting. Then a week later we found both wing mirrors ripped off our car. I can't even begin to tell you what a state I was in by this time. I was afraid to leave my home, afraid to come back to it. Terrified something would happen to us (which was the next thing threatened). Still the police and Whitefriars (responsible for their tenant) could do nothing. No proof, sorry can't help you get any, can't do anything unless you have some. Just before the 2nd lot of incidents and following good advice from lovely blogging friends like Carmen and Donna (She of Doone fame) we had put the flat on the market. After the incidents we did some sums and decided that safety and happiness were more important than money and we moved ourselves into rented accommodation on the 1st of February last year. Much to the relief of all who know us.  Now it wasn't 7 years of bad, our lovely son was born and it was really only the latter half of 2009 and 2010 that I really started to struggle. The last year has been hard financially but better in many other ways. We have taken a massive negative equity hit in order to sell it but the help of family means that we are financially stable again. So the good news, as of 11am Monday just gone the flat belongs to someone else.  I wrestled a lot with this, but I do believe that while that man will never make anyone's life easy he had a strong hatred for us. We have to be grateful that because there was no proof there was nothing to declare. Whitefriars regarded it all as tit for tat noise complaints (I have that in writing when they sent a reply to our MP when I asked him for help). So there are no records anywhere, so we can move on with a clean slate.  My husband is smiling again as he doesn't see all his wages disappear out every month. Me I am sitting here crying as I write this, the whole thing affected me a lot more. I am not one to dwell this is the last time I shall write of it all. I am not a bad person, he was and I am assured karma will get him. I am glad I won't be around to see what happens to him. I truly believe that someone who gets pleasure from tormenting others like him is a miserable person and so he already suffers everyday. Me well I laugh a lot (maybe not so much this week). I smile everyday because I do have a child like ability to appreciate the little things in life.  I want to feel joyfully happy and relieved. Instead at the moment I feel angry and tired and really fed up. At the moment I just have to let myself feel these things as part of the whole healing process. I am not so far gone that I can't appreciate the lovely fabric that turned up on my doorstep this week. Or when my son utters 'that is the right way to do it' at something on the tv. Or the I love you smile that my husband gave me last night (and it's been a while, he really is relieved and happier) in response to something I said.

So my new friends I do not apologise for this post, but I do promise not to write another one like it again.  I look forward to my husband securing his next contract before the end of the year. Growing more vegetables in my garden wherever that may be. Furthering my sewing skills and at the moment more importantly getting some decent sleep (because that surely doesn't help). Hope you have all had a good one and take care of each other.

15 comments:

BadPenny said...

I'm so glad you wrote this. We ( Bloggers ) are here for you ! Life throws us awful things at times and if we can't talk about it on our Blogs... where can we ?
I am so happy for you that this is now part of your past. You will remember it & talk about it but you survived.
We had Negative Equity when we were first married & it caused teriffic strain but we were helped by a family member & I'll be eternally grateful to them.
Enjoy your Chinese New Year celebrations - we do a Burns' night as hubby is Scottish ! It's so funny getting people to try Haggis ( I cook sausages too ! ) Even funnier trying to get my hubby to eat his neeps.

Don't feel bad for writing about your horrible ordeal. Sometimes it's better out shared. Take care xx

Annie said...

Writing this will have been really good for you Wendy so please no need to say sorry. A problem shared and all that....
Your blogging friends [ and I hope I am one of those :-) ] are all here for you and it will be good to see you put this awful experience behind you and start to enjoy life with your lovely hubby and gorgeous little boy. Life is for living :-)
Hugs,
A x

BadPenny said...

Thanks for your comment... I do mashed carrot & swede as mashed turnip sounds a bit bitter ! My cock a leeky soup is fabulous ... it comes out of a tin !!!

Di said...

Hi Wendy. I hopped over from Annie's blog just to say that I hoped things would get better. I read your posting with huge sadness at the misery you've been through then relief that you can now move on with your lives. There IS such a thing as Karma I'm sure and bad people do eventually get their comeuppance - but sometimes it doesn't seem like it when we're going through really awful times caused by what I can only describe as the scum of society. Think happy thoughts, plan those veggies you're going to grow - and yes, bloggy friends are always there for you. Annie is a gem - and I also spotted you won her goodies! Now, isn't that an omen of good times to come if ever there was one! Di xx

SusieJ said...

Oh Wendy, I feel for you. I know how wearying and worrying this sort of thing is (we had a taste of this when the boy was 9/10 which involved bullying of him). I'm so pleased you've moved out and can now move on.
Sending (((hugs))) and ***sparkles*** for healing sleep.
Don't worry about venting..that's what's friends are for. We're here for you.
xx

Sarah said...

Ouch. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you, not even feeling safe and secure in your own home :( Thank goodness that is all now officially behind you and you can move on with your life, happy in the knowledge that you will enjoy yours much more than that evil ex neighbour ever will his. You don’t need to wait for karma to hit him as it clearly already has. Nobody who was content in their own mind and skin would behave like that.

On a happier note, the Chinese New Year meal sounds delicious and I want an invite next year :D

Virginia said...

Ah Sweetie and from those dark days comes the positives this week, a smiling hubby, happy thoughts, planning vegetables - never be afraid to be who you really are on here. You've obviously been through an incredibly difficult time and are now able to close that chapter and start afresh. So that's what you have now a nice clean page and chapter of your life story to commence. But before you start to write it, give yourself and your family a little time to heal, to be yourselves and to reflect before striving forwards. Sending you all the love and sparkles, healing thoughts and positive futures that I possibly can.

biggest hugs

Virginia

Sabrina said...

I am so glad that things are changing for the better. I can't even imagine living in a dark situation like that. I think you are wise to pity that man, he clearly has no joy in his life. I too believe karma will balance things out over there. Good vibes being sent to your family from over here in California!

Sabrina

mammafairy said...

Sorry you have had a bad time, Until it stops you do not realise how tense you have been. Onwards and upwards, and remember to talk to the mammoth!
Bad luck, I am now following you...

Joanna said...

I'm so sorry to read of your dreadful experience, and I'm so relieved for you that this awful chapter of your life is over.

That page is turned, a line drawn. Try not to let this individual ruin any more of your life, he's taken too much from you already. You have such a lovely (smiling) husband and a beautiful son (poor little chap feeling so poorly) which is more than that man will ever have. Let the healing process run it's course, however long that may take. It won't be rushed with smiles and laughter -maybe be prepared that you might need some help to see you through this trauma.

Wishing you a happy weekend,

xx

Sam said...

What a terrible experince for you all. Bullying is the worst kind of behaviour, its normally nothing you can prove and can be devestating. I ran an anti bullying group for 5 yrs after my son was serverly bullied and ended up with a phyciatrist at 5 yrs old so I can totally understand how you feel.But, that is behind you now, you have your wonderful family and the experience will have taught you something you can use, crazy as that sounds!
I hope your son feels better soon, my girly is poorly this week too.
Your chinese new yr party sounds great and the food sounds fab!!
I hope you have a great week x

Bleubeard and Elizabeth said...

I am so sorry I missed WOYWW this week, because I also missed that you sold your flat. I hope the Chinese New Year celebration goes or went well. I can only imagine the relief that must have created, especially with all the weight of your recent flat problems.

There is nothing worse than a bully. I would have set up cameras on the front and back of my flat to catch the guy. They can be attached to a computer and they have a set time before they are recorded over again. Of course, you don't need any of that advice now: now that the problem no longer exists.

Trying times or not, I can tell you will soon put a smile on your face again, just as soon as your son feels better. At least it isn't from bullying.

Oh gosh, I almost forgot. I came to let you know about wonder under, and got caught up in your post, instead. Wonder under is a sheet of double sided heat activated fabric adhesive. You lay down your first layer by running your iron over the paper side of the wonder under while the wonder under heats and adheres to the fabric. When you are ready to place the fabric on another fabric (I think it is used for applique a lot), you remove the backing paper, place the back side of the fabric to the right side of the other fabric, then place your backing paper on top of everything and iron again. I'm not sure I described it right, but like I said, think applique and how you would glue it to another surface.

JoZart said...

Thanks for your comment re my tiny tin! The mini mint tins are by the checkout in Aldi supermarkets. If you can't find them I'll send you a couple but I'm not going to eat the mints for you!
Lv Jo x

JoZart said...

Now I have just read your moving post and whilst I knew what you'd been through it really did hit home.
Keep smiling, there are good people in the world and I'm sure your positive vibes will attract the right sort and leave the moron of your nightmares in the past. I hope your post was the catharsis and I hope the future is nothing but happiness and good health as you rightly deserve.
Much love and lots of smiles,
Jo x

Carmen said...

In a way I'm smiling to read this post - when I saw the other post I was panicking a bit on your behalf that every thing had fell through. I know how you feel though - I went through a bullied phase with an ex - it got quite stalkerish. Scarily so. It went on for 10 years, but karma does kick butt. She may take her sweet time but she gets there. In my case with cherries on top. If you ever want the long waffle I'll tell you but suffice to say that was the good versus evil fight I spoke of in my New Year post. I should think if he did have a drug and alcohol problem - his karma will be quite nasty too when it catches up with him.

Sending you big hugs my wonderful, crazy friend from one childlike person to another :)